Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
