ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
