But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
