He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
