took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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