We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
