i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
