is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You left your phone here
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