im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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