His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I want is dick and wine.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
