dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
