So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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