some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
