Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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