walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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