problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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