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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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