Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
