Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
