I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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