I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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