hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
