At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
