Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The beer is more important than you right now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
