this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
