But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
