We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
