Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Randomize
