also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
