stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
