Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
