ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
