Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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