I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
