So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
