More tranny stories later!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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