We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
