Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize