Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
