those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did I show you my penis last night?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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