i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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