Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
