You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
