I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
