So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
