Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
