I didn't shave. On purpose
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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