..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
