her vagine was all disorganized.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Im part way to drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
