come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
