I want to stick my p in your. b.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
