How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
