this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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