If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
