My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he fucked my hip out of place.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
