No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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