I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
