We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
