I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
is it fun? or sober?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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